Thursday, July 19, 2012

This is harder than I thought!

Disclaimer: 
Anyone who knows me in real life, I apologise as this may be TMI. You don't have to read, but I do have to write. This blog keeps me sane at times like these. If you do decide to go ahead and read this post, then that's just fine, but please respect our privacy. Thank you. 



Right, so I am officially in the 2WW. 6DPO to be precise. I thought that it was going to be easier this time around but NO! In fact I think it's worse.

I have been having cramps since 2DPO. On Tuesday (4DPO) I noticed I was really tired, and on Wednesday (5DPO) when I was shopping for groceries, I was very aware of that low level nausea. I was also a bit more irritable than usual - and still tired. Last night I developed a huge headache that won't go away, even after sleep and paracetamol. I am really thirsty and drinking heaps of water. My appetite isn't what it usually is. Carrying BB up the stairs tonight felt like such hard work!

BB has also been a bit funny with his feeding. Sometimes he is obviously wanting breast milk but wont drink, he goes from one side to the other, rejecting each side and getting in a tizzy. At first I thought my milk was drying up, but I don't think so, as eventually he settles and feeds.

Then there's my temperature chart, which is considerably higher than usual.

My sensible brain tells me that it is way too early for me to have any symptoms, that I am tired because we had a massive week last week driving across the country, and then down to London, a couple of days of London Transport, 3 nights of hardly any sleep and then a big drive back in the rain. In fact, it makes me tired just writing about that! Cramps for the whole of my LP are not all that unusual either. My headache could be lack of caffeine, though I have still been having a small, half strength cup of coffee in the morning so that shouldn't really be the case.

Also, when I got PG with BB, I thought I knew at the time of 'transfer' that this would work. I didn't feel that this time.

My emotional brain is working on a different reality though. Last night I found myself googling early pregnancy signs. Back ache, yes I have that (not unusual!) metallic taste in the mouth, yes I have that (but I hadn't noticed it until I read that so could possibly have made it up!). Is it possible that I am more tuned in to it this time? Or maybe it's twins so the hormones are stronger? It's amazing where your head can take you. Maybe I am just imagining the whole lot!

I know that it is way to early to test, and that even if I was pregnant I would get a negative now anyway. But, even though I know that, I couldn't help myself, and I tested this morning anyway. It was negative!

I tested +ve with BB at 11 DPO, so I just have to wait... we will be on holiday then too. I was thinking I would just wait until we got home, but now I think that suitcase will be full of tests!

Meanwhile, I am visualising that there is a little ball of cells in there that is nestling itself into a lovely new home.

Fingers Crossed

Hopefully I can stay sane until the time comes to test for real... Pin It Now!

6 comments:

  1. Also keeping fingers crossed for you!

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  2. Your chart is looking great. Lots and lots of luck.

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  3. Actually, I am feeling today like it's not my month. I bought a digi to test this am before we go away but it was a faulty one! I feel like AF is on her way tho...

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  4. (((hugs))) Sorry this wasn't your cycle, BM. Lots of luck and babydust for a quick path to your BFP. xx

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