Another loss

 Just when I thought I was safe... 

Things were going great. A super little bump was developing and people had started to notice I was pregnant. 

But on Thursday, after a lovely day at the Chelsea flower show, the spotting began. Then a big bleed on Friday morning, and then nothing until the evening. Then it really started. 

I am currently sitting on a plastic bag on the stairs at DD's house, waiting for things to slow down enough that I can go to bed. Soon I hope. 

I'm sad of course. I have cried. But not all that much. Yet. It doesn't feel as bad as last time, partly because I know what to expect, and partly because I didn't subject myself to the horrors of the A&E department. I am pleased with my body. It's good at miscarriages. I think it's going to get it all out by itself again. I am thankful for that at least. 

I know it hasn't really sunk in yet. Little things are getting me, like seeing a name I like, and then remembering I no longer need to make a list. 

At first I thought that was it, that I have my answer now, and I am meant to be a mum of just one. But already too I have thought maybe I should try again. When does this end? 

Goodbye to another child I will never get to know. I am pleased I enjoyed you while you were here with us, but so sad you left us already.


Hello, and thanks for stopping by. My name is Emma and I am a lifestyle entrepreneur, writer, teacher, coach and mentor. I am passionate about eating real food, learning, travel and health. I get to spend my days with my amazing son who has chosen to learn from the world rather than at school. We write to share the life we love and to help others create a life they love too.

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