Since the miscarriage and then the trapped nerve, my mind has often been occupied with the thought that I am just too old for this pregnancy thing. I really wish I had done this earlier. That I already had two children. That I could guarantee I had the energy to keep up with them both during their childhood years. I worry that if I get pregnant now there may be risks to my health, risks that could take me away from BB, to a greater or lesser extent. I worry that I'm too old to have another baby. I feel loads older that I did when I got pregnant with BB. I even feel significantly older that I did when I got pregnant with the baby I miscarried. It is probably an effect of both those events, but still...
So, I am leaning more and more towards the adoption route. I am going to my first information session on adoption next week, and whereas I thought I was interested in adopting a baby, perhaps the child that will complete our family is older.
Who knows, but I have decided I am definitely open to the idea.
I wonder how our family will look in two years time?
Interesting idea! I got the wild hair the other day to use my reserved sperm vials to make frozen embryos for later use since I am in no way ready for another baby now - but then I remembered how my main problem is surviving a pregnancy and labor again, which will only become more problematic as I advance into my 40s. So, this is not really an option for me, either. I love the idea of an older sibling! Here's to you for thinking outside the box.
ReplyDeleteI often think about what you're saying too, about later parenthood. It's good that you've got the option of adopting, and what a concept! Completing your family with an older child. That's quite brilliant actually, though I know in an ideal world things would have played out differently. I'm sure I've said it before, but my second pregnancy at 39-40 was not great physically. It wasn't a bad pregnancy, it was just draining in a way it hadn't been the first time around. Pregnancy just felt like a younger woman's province to me. Still, I wish you luck whichever way you go. I'm looking forward to seeing how your family evolves too.
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