tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post677857469683094678..comments2023-07-04T19:32:36.368+08:00Comments on A Blissful Life: The Christmas DilemmaEmma Blisshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00929601119226414066noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-10990185181552939822014-12-14T17:59:28.443+08:002014-12-14T17:59:28.443+08:00I too build up the idea of the "perfect holid...I too build up the idea of the "perfect holiday," which is probably why I flee holidays as much as possible. I agree with Sarah about having reasonable traditions (love the idea of the pj's) and being flexible on the rest. Of course if you move that would factor in later also. As for BB's sadness, I remember from when I actually took part on the SMC message boards, one of the moms said that when her child cried over not having a dad, she held the child and cried and agreed that it really hurts sometimes. BB has a dad but you could let him know that you know it hurts when Daddy leaves and you wish you could make it not hurt BUT he will always have you and Daddy will be back for a visit again soon. And next time smack DD if he even thinks of leaving while BB is sleeping. :-(Nellhttp://Nellskatingontheedge.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-20392314479920763872013-12-09T00:21:07.552+08:002013-12-09T00:21:07.552+08:00Yeah I think BB will be OK too! And I know that th...Yeah I think BB will be OK too! And I know that the balancing act is hard and I appreciate DD's efforts to keep everyone happy… He is much better at saying goodbye to Daddy these days tooEmmahttp://www.ablissfullife.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-13986014866242684382013-12-07T02:30:00.401+08:002013-12-07T02:30:00.401+08:00Creating a balancing act between 2 'families&#...Creating a balancing act between 2 'families' is difficult. Sometimes PP needs to come first and sometimes BB comes first. As this is PP's first Christmas since his mother died it's his turn to come first and be surrounded by his family. BB is still young enough to not associate Christmas with his dad needing to be there. I have 6 year olds in my class who don't know when their birthday is. I know BB is a genius, but I think it will be ok this year. PPs family have extended the invitation to everyone, but as the French don't start Xmas eve dinner until 9pm and finish at 2-3am, this year is probably not the best time to introduce BB and BM to that.Justin Perrymannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-42870831878389576222013-10-30T17:35:33.432+08:002013-10-30T17:35:33.432+08:00I woke BB up from his nap this week so was awake w...I woke BB up from his nap this week so was awake when DD left. We went to the front door and watched him walk away. He did cry when Daddy disappeared round the corner, but not for long. Much much better!Emmahttp://www.ablissfullife.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-73175375555738642782013-10-30T15:13:02.107+08:002013-10-30T15:13:02.107+08:00and apologies for the appalling grammar in the sec...and apologies for the appalling grammar in the second paragraph, I've only had one cup of coffee so far ;-)Rachel Beenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-66683450587664044952013-10-30T15:12:10.383+08:002013-10-30T15:12:10.383+08:00Ack Emma, I feel your pain. I think you have to pu...Ack Emma, I feel your pain. I think you have to put this into two categories: The Christmas issue and The Daddy leaving issue:<br />My first thoughts on the first one are that you are making memories. But what are memories? Your memories of a more traditional Christmas or BB's which are one of a more colourful and alternative event. What lucky child gets the opportunity to have 'two' Christmasses? Also, he doesn't come second place. He comes first in your life and a very, very, very, close second in DD's. Let's be honest Em, if you'd chosen an anonymous donor initially, the conversation you'd be having both now with us and with DD later on in life, would be very different. For children who's fathers leave them have a far tougher time in my opinion. Right now, you're dealing with a small two year old who is having normal two year old anxieties because he has a good secure relationship with his father...that's actually a GOOD thing. That kind of moves me onto my thoughts for your second issue. He will learn that this is normal for him because he has nothing to compare it with. It is normal for him that DD lives with PP and you and he live together. DD spends LOADS of time with him, but has to go home. Two year olds hate it when grandma leaves or they can't find their favourite bear ;-) Is there any way that next time DD leaves before nap time or after. I think the issue was exacerbated because DD left when he was asleep and he didn't see him go, so for him it made less sense. If he got to wave him off, then it would be a little less traumatic.<br /><br />So, that's my thoughts: Make your own memories with BB and DD, sod what we assume is 'normal'. If your memories of Christmas are wonderful and happy, that is the important thing. Huge hugs love, speak soon xxxRachel Beenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-60364086126628084462013-10-26T01:39:07.429+08:002013-10-26T01:39:07.429+08:00HI Nelly, I think it does depend on the lenses. Wh...HI Nelly, I think it does depend on the lenses. When I was researching the article I found people that were saying you should have special 'winter' sunglasses, but actually, everyone saying that was trying to sell you some, so I took that with a pinch of salt and left it out of the final piece. I do use polarising lenses myself, as I find that they are much better for dealing with the changing light all year round>Emmahttp://www.ablissfullife.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-58523628086522943442013-10-25T22:48:51.148+08:002013-10-25T22:48:51.148+08:00I usually wear sunglasses when driving in winter t...I usually wear sunglasses when driving in winter too. but I'm now being told that I shouldn't because a sudden change in the light (e.g. driving in sunshine and then into a very shaded area) causes "blackout". I've never experienced this. Perhaps it depends on the sunglasses.Nelly Boothnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-63269203796151680182013-10-22T23:36:53.440+08:002013-10-22T23:36:53.440+08:00Thanks Nell - I think you are right too. I have al...Thanks Nell - I think you are right too. I have also been thinking that I need to talk with DD about leaving when BB is asleep. I will do it!Emmahttp://www.ablissfullife.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-73028414766052875322013-10-21T15:43:38.640+08:002013-10-21T15:43:38.640+08:00Thanks Sarah - you're totally right. I was thi...Thanks Sarah - you're totally right. I was thinking last night that things could change anyway. I might even meet someone (miracles do happen!) and then have a third man in the mix, just to complicate things even further! I just don't like seeing my little boy being sad, but I guess too that's a life lesson in itself and my job is to help him deal with it, not protect from from it.Emmahttp://www.ablissfullife.co.uk/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7592839731639120187.post-31635682329505046462013-10-21T12:45:08.471+08:002013-10-21T12:45:08.471+08:00I think you should aim for traditions that allows ...I think you should aim for traditions that allows for flexibility. We always got a new set of Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve, but we some years we were at home, others we were at various family member's houses. You can't predict or plan for every possibility for years to come, so don't set over realistic expectations for your "perfect" Christmas.<br /><br />Have a Daddy Christmas when you can, and make sure you're always there with him on Christmas Day. BB can never be second if he's always your first.Sarah Brandthttp://www.OMGTheresThree.com/noreply@blogger.com