Monday, March 4, 2013

What if BB was a little brother?

Over the last week or so, I have started to think more widely about what BB's sibling may be like. Increasingly I am thinking about adoption. Although initially I was thinking of adopting a child younger than BB, I think I have decided to move on from that. Increasingly I am thinking about adopting an older child.

Since the miscarriage and then the trapped nerve, my mind has often been occupied with the thought that I am just too old for this pregnancy thing. I really wish I had done this earlier. That I already had two children. That I could guarantee I had the energy to keep up with them both during their childhood years. I worry that if I get pregnant now there may be risks to my health, risks that could take me away from BB, to a greater or lesser extent. I worry that I'm too old to have another baby. I feel loads older that I did when I got pregnant with BB. I even feel significantly older that I did when I got pregnant with the baby I miscarried. It is probably an effect of both those events, but still...

So, I am leaning more and more towards the adoption route. I am going to my first information session on adoption next week, and whereas I thought I was interested in adopting a baby, perhaps the child that will complete our family is older.

Who knows, but I have decided I am definitely open to the idea.

I wonder how our family will look in two years time?


2 comments:

  1. Interesting idea! I got the wild hair the other day to use my reserved sperm vials to make frozen embryos for later use since I am in no way ready for another baby now - but then I remembered how my main problem is surviving a pregnancy and labor again, which will only become more problematic as I advance into my 40s. So, this is not really an option for me, either. I love the idea of an older sibling! Here's to you for thinking outside the box.

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  2. I often think about what you're saying too, about later parenthood. It's good that you've got the option of adopting, and what a concept! Completing your family with an older child. That's quite brilliant actually, though I know in an ideal world things would have played out differently. I'm sure I've said it before, but my second pregnancy at 39-40 was not great physically. It wasn't a bad pregnancy, it was just draining in a way it hadn't been the first time around. Pregnancy just felt like a younger woman's province to me. Still, I wish you luck whichever way you go. I'm looking forward to seeing how your family evolves too.

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