It's taken me a week to summon up the emotional energy to write this post. Who would have thought that a haircut could be so traumatic - and it wasn't even mine!
BB almost had a haircut last summer, but then it started to curl at the back and I thought it was too cute, so I cancelled the appointment. As it grew and grew, it curled and curled. People commented on his hair all the time, what lovely curls, what great hair, how brilliant it is that we didn't cut it yet, just like in the old days. They did make him look incredibly cute. I was really pleased not to have cut it when I first planned to, or we would have never known that cute little munckin look. His curls became his trademark. I loved the way they bounced when he walked. They added to his cheekiness too.
Before Christmas, when we were skyping with DD's parents they said he needed a haircut. I couldn't believe it. It was the first time anyone had ever said anything about his hair other than how cute it was. At first I didn't think they were serious, but when I said about keeping his lovely curls they said, "Well, you can't keep them forever." They were serious!
When ever I mentioned the idea of cutting his hair to others there was always a horrified response at the thought. I was pleased. No haircuts to be had for a while then. But, the conversation obviously planted a seed in DD's head. He really thought a haircut was in order. BB has been mistaken for a girl a couple of times, and DD was concerned as to how this might affect him. The haircut kept being mentioned. He was serious. On the night I took the above photo I sobbed. The thought of cutting off my baby's hair was just so horrible.
After a while I began to wonder, maybe he is right. He is far more in to this whole personal grooming thing than me, perhaps I should trust what he was saying. BB's hair was also getting a little long on top, and although I have happily kept his fringe in order up until now, layering the top did seem a bit beyond me. Eventually then, I consented to a trim. I made an appointment for when DD would be here so that he could be the advisor on the day. Then DD was busy with other stuff, so I happily cancelled the appointment. But then came the third time, and we made the appointment and actually kept it.
And I HATE it!
The curls have gone. He now looks like he has overgrown hair. To me, now that he has had it cut, he does actually look like he NEEDS a haircut, whereas before he just looked like a cute toddler.
I feel like the most awful parent. It is a lesson in the fact that compromise does not always work. I think I should have either dug my heels and insisted that it is fine to have long curly hair as a 1 1/2 year old boy, or given in completely to a proper 'boy' cut. I would have done that eventually anyway, I was thinking perhaps for his second birthday that would be a appropriate.
Here is a picture of the 'victim of compromise' from the back now.
It's horrible, right?
I had an absolutely awful time on Monday when we went to Tumble Tots. Comments like " Oh [BB], what have they done to your hair?" "You are not so cute without your curls" "I can't believe you did that to him". I drove home in tears, and even cancelled our swimming lesson on Thursday, partly because I am still not 100% well, but also as I just couldn't deal with hearing that again from another group of people. Like I wasn't gutted enough about it already!
Part of me is hoping those little curls will come back, but I don't think that will happen. Another part of me says that I should just take him back to the hairdressers right now and get it cut again. My mum says it doesn't look much different to her (I think she is just being nice - she loved his curls too) and to leave it a while and have it cut for the summer. Although I'm still not quite sure I'm ready to go the whole hog, we do have a Christening to go to in a couple of weeks.
Am I being over sensitive? Even I find it hard to understand why this hurts so much, it's only hair!
So what do I do?
Answers on a postcard please...