Saturday, March 2, 2013

The Haircut


It's taken me a week to summon up the emotional energy to write this post. Who would have thought that a haircut could be so traumatic - and it wasn't even mine!

BB almost had a haircut last summer, but then it started to curl at the back and I thought it was too cute, so I cancelled the appointment.  As it grew and grew, it curled and curled. People commented on his hair all the time, what lovely curls, what great hair, how brilliant it is that we didn't cut it yet, just like in the old days. They did make him look incredibly cute. I was really pleased not to have cut it when I first planned to, or we would have never known that cute little munckin look. His curls became his trademark.  I loved the way they bounced when he walked. They added to his cheekiness too.


Before Christmas, when we were skyping with DD's parents they said he needed a haircut. I couldn't believe it. It was the first time anyone had ever said anything about his hair other than how cute it was. At first I didn't think they were serious, but when I said about keeping his lovely curls they said, "Well, you can't keep them forever." They were serious!

When ever I mentioned the idea of cutting his hair to others there was always a horrified response at the thought. I was pleased. No haircuts to be had for a while then. But, the conversation obviously planted a seed in DD's head. He really thought a haircut was in order. BB has been mistaken for a girl a couple of times, and DD was concerned as to how this might affect him. The haircut kept being mentioned. He was serious. On the night I took the above photo I sobbed. The thought of cutting off my baby's hair was just so horrible.

After a while I began to wonder, maybe he is right. He is far more in to this whole personal grooming thing than me, perhaps I should trust what he was saying. BB's hair was also getting a little long on top, and although I have happily kept his fringe in order up until now, layering the top did seem a bit beyond me. Eventually then, I consented to a trim. I made an appointment for when DD would be here so that he could be the advisor on the day. Then DD was busy with other stuff, so I happily cancelled the appointment. But then came the third time, and we made the appointment and actually kept it.






And I HATE it!

The curls have gone. He now looks like he has overgrown hair. To me, now that he has had it cut, he does actually look like he NEEDS a haircut, whereas before he just looked like a cute toddler.

I feel like the most awful parent. It is a lesson in the fact that compromise does not always work. I think I should have either dug my heels and insisted that it is fine to have long curly hair as a 1 1/2 year old boy, or given in completely to a proper 'boy' cut. I would have done that eventually anyway, I was thinking perhaps for his second birthday that would be a appropriate. 

Here is a picture of the 'victim of compromise' from the back now.


It's horrible, right? 

I had an absolutely awful time on Monday when we went to Tumble Tots. Comments like " Oh [BB], what have they done to your hair?" "You are not so cute without your curls" "I can't believe you did that to him". I drove home in tears, and even cancelled our swimming lesson on Thursday, partly because I am still not 100% well, but also as I just couldn't deal with hearing that again from another group of people. Like I wasn't gutted enough about it already!

Part of me is hoping those little curls will come back, but I don't think that will happen. Another part of me says that I should just take him back to the hairdressers right now and get it cut again. My mum says it doesn't look much different to her (I think she is just being nice - she loved his curls too) and to leave it a while and have it cut for the summer. Although I'm still not quite sure I'm ready to go the whole hog, we do have a Christening to go to in a couple of weeks.

Am I being over sensitive? Even I find it hard to understand why this hurts so much, it's only hair!

So what do I do?

Answers on a postcard please... 


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6 comments:

  1. Aww, I can see how that first big haircut can be traumatic! But I'm even more bugged that people would make such negative comments. I would never say something like that to someone about their baby! It reminds me of when B had that giant red mole on his face, though - everywhere I went, everyone asked what was wrong with him, what happened to him, etc, to the point where, like you, I started avoiding social situations because I just didn't want to hear it. Let's just make this a rule - no negative observations about other people's babies!

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  2. Oh my goodness! You're most certainly not overly sensitive. With all the comments both to cut his hair and the rudeness about his haircut, its enough to make anyone emotional besides that its your child's hair and a first haircut. To be honest, the thought of cutting my son's hair makes me a little sad.

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  3. his hair was super cute before! but since you asked, no, i don't like the new haircut. sorry!

    if you want it to look cute again, let him get a proper haircut -- shorter in back -- and then let it grow again.

    but you know, it had to happen. you had to cut his hair sooner or later. and also, your boy won't be any less beautiful to you, no matter how you cut his hair. just a little less baby like. but he will still be your beautiful baby when he's six feet tall and weighs more than you.

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  4. Oh what an emotional thing, the haircut. I'm sorry you felt so much pressure to do something you really didn't want to do. It's awful that people would have the nerve to say he isn't as cute now, how superficial!!! & rude!!! Sorry I don't have any advice, just virtual hugs

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  5. Hi BM. The thing is, BB has gorgeous hair. That first picture is gold. All I'm thinking is he's going to look like a rockstar if he lets it grow as a teenager. It sounds like you're thinking the current style doesn't suit him and we've all had similar experiences personally (although sometimes we don't register a bad do until hindsight sets in 10 years later!) Maybe just get it cut again if you think a different style would suit him better. I'm surprised people were so rude too. That's really poor form.

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  6. Wow!

    He's always going to be cute - that's the end of that discussion. However, I have to admit to being a little shocked that DD actually fell for coercion and persuasion about something as fickle as look and gender specificity. Considering the beautiful rainbow family you have, I'm quite amazed that he feels the need for BB to look like either sex rather than just be who he is and that is him with beautiful curls.
    As to the comments - ya boo sucks to them, hold your head up, their comments just go to prove that ugliness and beauty come from within rather than from what is on the outside :-(

    Let it grow if you want, see what happens. If the curls don't come back, then get it truly cut and let it grow again. I have three curly ones and each time they've had theirs cut it's come back again.

    Hugs and do as 'you' see fit xxx

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