Sunday, February 24, 2013

The 2WW

So here I am on CD 13. It has been a challenging 2WW. BB and I are still sick. He has conjunctivitis a cough and a cold, I just have the cough and the cold. It's been a month now since we were healthy and I am soooo exhausted you wouldn't believe.

To add to that I seem to have become a bit of an insomniac.  I have read lots about how not having enough sleep can make babies and children have sleep problems, and I can only guess it's true for adults too. The combination of being sick, looking after a sick child, and working late into the night seems to have gotten my body into a routine where it thinks I should only sleep for 4-5 hours a night. I am waking up after about 4 hours sleep and then can't get back to sleep again. I feel terrible! I can't expect to be healthy or have a decent immune system if I don't sleep either. It's a downward spiral and I need to break it. If I was a potential baby, I wouldn't be choosing this body!

You may remember from a previous post that I had little hope for this cycle, as we had already been sick for 2 weeks and BB had been breastfeeding a lot more that usual. I wasn't looking for any signs as I really expected nothing. But, on CD6 I woke up feeling nauseous, and then later that day, so tired I went for a nap with BB in the afternoon. I thought it was too early for any symptoms, but it has happened to me before. Our first cycle TTC BB2 I was convinced (by nothing other than instinct of course) that we had fertilisation, but then it didn't implant.

During a wakeful night I did manage to do some googling on my phone and find out about Early Pregnanacy Factor, (EPF) which is apparently a substance produced by the ovaries in response to a signal from the fertilised egg, which tells the body to prepare for implantation. It can be detected as early as 6 hours after conception, but not much research has been done, apparently due to the fact that it would most likely prove that several forms of contraception are actually abortive rather than preventive, which would obviously cause a bit of strife. It would also be of little help to the mental well being of people like me in the 2ww as you would be get excited if you detected EPF, and anxious, and you still need implantation to be pregnant of course, so knowing would likely do more harm than good.

very faint line on a pregnancy test
Positive or evap?
Finding out about EDF did make me feel a bit less crazy though!

Then on CD8 I had a big temperature dip, below the cover line and so on day 9 I tested and got this.

I posted it online for people's opinions and 93% of votes said +ve . I wasn't quite convinced that it wasn't an evap. but then the line faded, an evap. stays after the waiting time is up right? And it did have a slightly pinkish tinge.

So later that day I went and bought a FRER. A definite negative.

I have tested almost everyday since, still negative.

So, I am now fairly convinced that I won't be due to have a baby on my 42nd birthday, (that would have been the due date). It's pretty certain then, that if I do become a mum again, I will be at least 42!

I don't have any signs of AF coming though, apart from the fact that my temperature dropped this morning. Having said that, my first temperature reading was 37.5ºC which I thought was rather high, so I did it again and got 36.7ºC, so I came to the conclusion that my thermometer is not that great. The dip could therefore have just been due to the faulty thermometer, though with my sleep problem the whole BBT thing is a bit of a waste of time anyway...

So, I am thinking ahead to the next cycle -even looking forward to it in a way. It's always a good time for a new start isn't it. Soon after AF comes I am going to pick my night and take the one tablet that I have left from when I trapped my nerve,  to help me get a good night's sleep and hopefully start to correct my sleeping issues. I also can't help but think back to how good I felt when I was on Stage 1 of the elimination diet, so I might try and boost my health with that a bit too.

With regard to the sleep thing, I also need to change my habits, I work late into the night, I take my phone to bed and respond to clients emails from my bed, even getting up to check files on my computer, or to do something urgent for them at times. I also turn to my phone when I wake up, and google something that's on my mind, or play words with friends! I'm going to try leaving my phone downstairs tonight, and read a book if I wake up. And I am going to try and get into a habit of shutting down the computer at 9pm. Where possible, I am going to work when BB has his afternoon nap, so that I can relax more in the evenings... I know, I know - I am even boring myself now - I have said this before, right?

Well, new cycle, new beginning, coming up!


3 comments:

  1. Sorry that it sounds like this cycle wasn't successful. You seem to have good perspective though.

    I hope your sleep improves too. Have you tried melatonin? It is my saving grace right now.

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  2. Sorry this cycle didn't work out. It seems like you have a good plan. I would definitely try not to do work after a certain time. Just shut the email function off your phone. You can still play games.

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  3. I'm sorry this cycle didnt end in a positive. Great outlook though. My fingers are still crossed for you though.
    I've read that you should only use your bed for sleeping. I have a hard time with this but can you train yourself to not take your work to bed and just keep that area special? I'm guessing it has to do with your mindset and switching modes in bed when you should be able to just climb in and know you're there to sleep. I don't know. I hope something works for you. I once had a drink called neuro sleep (neuro something to do with sleep) and after drinking it, I was nearly asleep. It has melatonin and other ingredients that help. If all else fails...:)

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